THE VOICES IN MY HEAD.

"So,  do you believe in predestination?"

I have,  on more than several occasions, asked this question,  both to myself and the people I consider but most especially the ones that confess to be grown in the faith.  For a conscious mind,  they usually hesitate to supply an answer.  Most have usually not thought about it beforehand but it is such a burning concept that one understands what it means in a short time. One’s face will be creased with a smile as they supply a stark “yes” or a dodgy “no” although interestingly,  most will look to evade either with a counter explanation that conforms to what they believe in.

One thing is obvious. Either answer is an ideological trap. One answering in the affirmative, will be acknowledging the omniscience God. This in itself implies quite an array of assertions.  That God for example knew before hand and actually willed it that Eve would harvest the raw apple before ripening. He knew it that the willy serpent would successfully persuade naïve Eve and that Adam too would not stand the test of time.  It would mean that He knew the battle would be lost and yet His majesty went ahead to issue a stern warning against the harvesting of the apple before He had authorized It.  Do you see where I am going?

The affirmative answer to the question would imply that God knows everyone before they are born and duly knows what they shall do,  when they will die and what their fate in the afterlife shall be.  He would know that Kony for example shall see it fit to rape young girls and mutilate countless bodies or that Hitler would be a menace to a certain minority yet He would go ahead to allow the people set foot on earth.  That means that He actually willed it that the better proportion us come to earth,  make wonderful nuisances of ourselves and there after proceed to the eternal agony of the hot flames while a select few suffer here on earth and then proceed to an ephemeral rendezvous in paradise.

That would make the world the Lord’s play thing,  like a toy or a novel,  where some characters are in it to die,  play prop or obey whatever whims the writer sees fit.  I mean it would sound like the Lord just created the universe and decided to throw in a bunch of miniature dogs,  to fight,  mistreat each other, drive cars, go to the moon and think they have made it in life and then die while He invited some over for tea and others burned in Hell.  Sounds hypocritical to me,  I do not know about you.

The negative answer is not any better.  The failure to believe in predestination actually doubts the omniscience  of God.  This would cast a shade on the other qualities, omnipotence  in particular.  It would therefore mean that something’s are beyond God’s control and that when push comes to shove, He does not know what will become of us or what will happen in the end. Now,  there is a common belief,  as asserted in the Bible too,  about the final battle , then, when God shall defeat Lucifer so magnificently and then proceed to claim His rightful place.  What if He is not sure about this too?  What if He was to lose this battle given the fact that Something’s are beyond his control?  I mean at the moment,  things are not looking good for team heaven.  Homosexuality, disease,  war,  famine and a lot of stupidity which are All evils attributed to the devil.  I mean the devil has claimed people like Kaweesi, Muhamad Ali and Micheal Jackson. Why would you ever take these while Justin Beiber and Kim Kardashian  are left standing?
What if the devil was to play a Bayern on Arsenal on the final battle?

There are voices in my head, questions that need to be answered and these keep me awake.  Someone schedule a meeting for me with the Pope,  I will meet Kayanja there after,  the Mufti and Mama Fina.  May be they can put my heart to rest.

Is it all an illusion?  Have we been played? 

PLAN Z

Men are obsessed with plans. In our human minds,  we fantasize,  lay out and visualize the perfect outcome of our ventures. We draw out the best and worst possible scenarios and swear upon our grandfather’s graves that A to Z is the best we can ever have.  The truth is, nothing ever comes out according to the perfect plan, at least not to the letter. After all,  the first men did not know that meat tasted better with salt. I have a feeling that in the beginning,  men thought bananas must ripen before consumption.  Now we just harvest them green,  heat them up and speed up the process.  Dots can only be connected backwards. 

What we don’t realize is that we are scared, extremely terrified that when push comes to shove,  we shall in despair,  blame ourselves for having done nothing or failing to do something about it in the least. In the end however,  we always go along with plan Z.  That, which always inevitably happens, that we had not foreseen.  The first girl that your teacher forced you to seat with who later became the puppy love of your dreams.  That stranger on the bus that ended up being the mother of your son. The time you forgot your cap at the café and met your current boss on the way back.  In the end,  we always sit back and relax,  think to ourselves that after all things have not been ‘that bad’.

The king Odysseus, a proud suitor to the most beautiful Helen. You bet he had everything in plan.  Win fair Helen’s heart,  have a hoard of sons and live out the rest of his loyal life basking in Glory.  Helen of course chose Menelaus.  King Odysseus settled for Penelope and look how they ended up.  Who would have thought? Helen ended up a whoring disgrace,  seduced by a boy playing a harp.  Penelope to this day still represents fidelity,  having held on for decades. If the sands of time were to flow,  any man who would choose Helen over Penelope would be the essence of dimwittedness.

Looking back at my life,  I realize the need for auto pilot. Sometimes we need not worry about the next step,  may be sometimes,  we need to just close our eyes,  rest,  Laugh easy and let nature take its course.

After highschool,  it was evident that I needed a miracle.  I needed astate sponsorship for me to proceed to university ,  short of which I had to ‘sit and dig’ like the phrase goes.  My perfect plan and it’s back up visualized me doing a bachelor of Laws,  the most prestigious of social arts courses. Most of us, having failed to live up to our parents science dream,  always fancied Law as the next best thing.  I failed the preentry exam or at least, the 66% that I scored could not let me onto the state sponsorship.  I settled for a bachelor of International business and the cogs turned.  Look where it got me. To the shores of the Baltic!  I got to live through the ice cold northern European nights and like I always muse, had I excelled in that exam,  I would not be here.

We can only get as far manipulating the future. Something’s are better left to God,  fate or even science,  whatever one chooses to guide them. There is always a plan Z that we can’t foresee and just like I always say,  what happened is always the best that did, after all nothing better did.